My mother went to be with the Lord yesterday at 3:43pm.  She is celebrating the new year in heaven.  As she took her last breath the words "sleep in heavenly peace" were being sung behind a commercial on the television.  In an odd, supernatural way, I knew that it was the sirens call of the Lord and my mother had headed it.

The grief is coming in great rolling waves that often threaten to capsize the little life raft of hope that we are clinging too. Yet even under the heaviest and most violent of these surges there is a deep sense of peace and even joy in the confident assurance that my mother is in complete peace now, pain free and fully made whole. 

While there is always a tragic sense of loss at a life cut so short, there is also the celebration of a life well lived.  My mother had always wanted to be "the grandma down the street" and for the last 5 years she was able to live out that dream in the most vibrant and tangible way. My boys and my sister's children where all within walking distance of my mom's little cottage and they all spent many afternoons with her.  She lead them in a focused Bible study, built a tree house with them, roasted marshmallows, went on hikes, baked cookies and sewed the annual Christmas pajamas.  My mother was able to attend school plays, recitals and graduations and had a significant impact in all our children's formidable years.

I am going to miss my mommy.  I still need her.